Changing Lives
Saving Families
OC Couple and Family Therapy

San Clemente Patch Article:

Creating Loving Relationships

Having a Positive Outlook:

It is important to think of your partner in positive ways; to look for and nourish the factors that made you interested in the first place. Take the time to talk about your history in the relationship always accentuating the positive and reminding yourself of the qualities in your partner that attracted you in the first place.

Staying Connected Everyday:

Staying emotionally engaged with the other person and doing things together creates a fulfilling relationship. This does not mean just going out together, but rather it refers to the little things; having coffee sitting together in the morning, or going for a neighborhood walk in the evening. Finding ways to laugh together daily strengthens connection.

Keeping Communication Open:

Couples that keep open lines of communication, respect the other’s position and talk about how they are feeling are likely to grow closer and have more satisfying relationships. Share your thoughts with your partner even when you don’t have all the answers. This will allow your partner to be part of your process and feel cared about.

Create Positive Problem Solving:

Approach the problem head on. Discussions often end the way they start, so if you begin the discussion by being calm and caring it is most likely that you and your partner will end the discussion in the same way. Be open to your partner’s suggestions and ideas this creates growth and closeness. This is more than nodding at a suggestion, but actually sharing influence in the relationship.

Being Respectful:

Be polite to your partner by saying please and thank-you. Appreciate your partner often verbally. Also, Respect the dreams of your partner and help them achieve them.

Developing a One on One Relationship:

Develop a one on one relationship with your partner by talking about each other only. That means no gossip and no talking about the kids for a period of time everyday.

Creating a Safe Haven:

A safe haven is IN each of you. It is a place that is soft and caring and can hold each other’s most intimate thoughts. There is no judgment, only support and understanding for each other in allowed in your safe haven.

Getting Physical:

Physical intimacy is more than having sex. Holding hands, putting your arm around your partner and giving hugs will not only increase your chance of having sexual intimacy, it will also increase your love connection with the release of beneficial hormones.

The better you know your partner the more you show that you care about them and the greater your chance for a successful marriage/relationship.